scientificflair | 005. Audio.

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005. Audio.

[Those just turning their Gears on to check the Network this morning will be greeted by strains of music over Descole's feed - something melancholy, being played on violin; the song is something he'd heard many times before over the course of his...stay in Misthallery, and he understands that it's likely in horrible taste for him to be playing it at all, but it's a rather pretty song regardless.

After a while, the melody pauses, though there are a few notes being played lightly in the background, long and drawn-out; the sound appears to have shifted some, as though the violin has been adjusted away from the Gear.]

In a setup to a puzzle that's been around for a while, you meet three men in a wood, at a fork in the road. A sign above them states that one man is God; he knows all, and always tells the truth.

One is the Devil; he likewise knows all, but always lies.

The third man is ambiguous; he knows nothing, but will answer as though he knows everything. His answers are completely useless, and could be either right or wrong.

The sign states that you are to ask the men one question each - three questions total - that can be answered with "yes" or "no," with the intention of determining which person is whom. Were this a proper puzzle, I'd be asking you what question you would ask to which man.

[His hand shifts a bit on the violin, idly trilling the notes a bit while he thinks.]

However, when faced with the possibility that one of the men before you always lies...how are you to know that the Devil didn't post the sign in the first place?

[And with that, the melody seems to pick up again; the feed keeps going for about another minute or so before cutting off.]

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Companion...cube.

[...what are you even]

Well, that certainly explains the name you've given her. Dare I ask what those things were for, other than singing at you?

[...say "companionship" and he'll have to resist the urge to punch you.]

Yes, Companion Cubes! Just look at their name, they're obviously for companionship!

[...you wouldn't hit a guy carrying baby Pokémon around, would you?]

Not incredibly useful, really, but the humans tended to do better when they have something acting as a "companion." I'm still not entirely sure why.

[...he'd consider.]

Do you prefer being alone, then? I mean, I don't know what's been programmed in and what hasn't, obviously, but I doubt you'd be created to require the company of others - but you don't prefer it, either?

[...you're so mean. ;A;]

Oh, well! That's... well, no, personally I don't. I mean, I'm sure she does, but that's not the point! I've never really worked alone, though, and I've spent quite some time around humans anyway, so who knows? It's possible their imperfections have rubbed off on me or something.

[............]

...Er, no offense, of course! It doesn't matter now anyway!

[...he laughs a bit at that, actually, the sound soft.]

I'm not offended, believe me. I've experienced enough oddness here to know better.

[He pauses for a moment. Considers.]

Do we seem that horribly imperfect to you, then?

[Wheatley relaxes at that - the Pokémon all seem to breathe a collective sigh of relief as well. It would be better to not offend their travel partner, after all.]

[Descole's question earns a blank look for a moment while Wheatley thinks about it. His default answer is "yes, of course" but he's been in Johto for over two months now. He's been human for over two months.]

I... well... Don't mention it to her because I know she'll look down on me and call me a moron, but! Well, no, I don't really believe that. Not anymore. Not after getting to understand how humans work a bit better. No one's really perfect, after all.

Fair enough - really, I would hate to imagine what you would be thinking if you did still believe that, given that you're being made to report to one and all.

[Again, he seems more interested than offended; if anything, he's mildly amused by all of it.]

You certainly seem to place a lot of value on what she thinks; really, she's a harpy. Why does her opinion matter to you?

Yes, that would be a bit problematic, wouldn't it? No, no, I'm not bothered by that fact. I mean, really, I was built by humans anyway, so they must have some worth!

[...That will also get a bit of nervous laughter. This entire topic is a bit uncomfortable, if you haven't noticed.]

It doesn't! Of course it doesn't. She's bloody horrid, really. I couldn't care less what she thinks of me!

[...Tsun harder, Wheatley.]

She was in charge of the facility for quite some time back home. Which meant she kept tabs on everything and everyone. Oh, and that gave her the authority to routinely call me a moron. Boring, really; couldn't she have come up with some more creative insults? Ah, but that doesn't matter here! She's just an obnoxious coworker. Nothing more.

[Answering your question? Why would he bother with something like that?]

[...ahahaha nice try.]

All the less reason for her opinion to matter. So why does it?

[...you people never let him get away with anything...]

Like I said, it doesn't! I don't care what she thinks! She's wrong anyway! I'm not a moron!

[...I am a scientist and what is this.]

Don't you put words in my mouth; I never said you were.

[His tone is sharp, but he makes himself relax a bit once that's out there; he goes back to playing slow, idle notes on that violin, not bothering to support it in proper playing position, just to give his hands something to do.]

I find you to be rash, overimpulsive and very prone to not thinking things through. However, you have a large amount of creativity, which is one of the most important assets in regards to science. Your downfall is that you're lacking in the purely logical department.

Bluntly put, you have loads of creative power and no idea how to harness it. That simply means you haven't worked out how to operate to your fullest potential. It doesn't make you stupid; I've no intention of calling you anything of the sort. Do you understand me?

[That's... not what he meant to imply at all, whoops. No, he knows Descole has never called him a moron; if anything, Descole seems to be the only one in the labs who doesn't look down on him. It's possible he's misreading things, but given how close GLaDOS and that other scientist are...]

[Wheatley doesn't say anything, glancing over when Descole starts playing, but once again returning to glare at the floor after a moment. He's sulking now, and probably squeezing that Riolu a bit too tightly. Eta squirms out of his grasp after a moment and curls up on the bed beside Wheatley's leg. Companion Bat immediately flutters down to let Wheatley cling to her. Clearly his Pokémon have him figured out.]

[He's silent for a little while after Descole is done speaking, and when he finally does find words, they're quieter than usual.]

...I didn't mean to imply that. That you think I'm a moron. You've been good to me. Yes, I understand, and I'm sorry for the mistake there.

Her opinion does matter a little. I guess. I mean, she was kind of the boss back home. It would have been nice if I could have impressed her. But that's it - it's a result of programming, nothing more!

[...totally.]

[He nods a bit at the apology, acknowledging it without really responding to it; he's never really known what to say to things like that.

The second half of that does get a bit of a laugh, however; again, it isn't cruel at all.]

Really, Wheatley, I'm beginning to think there's no pleasing that woman. She looks at everyone as though she wants to kill them all on sight.

[Wheatley's silent for a moment, frowning intently at Companion Bat's fur. After a moment he finally looks up. He's smirking now.]

...Well, I did put her in a potato...

[....................]

You...what?

I put her in a potato. Well, a potato battery, but you know how these things go.

[...or not. Have a dismissive wave!]

To make a long story short, I took over the facility and she had to go somewhere. I figured a potato would be suiting!

[...goodness lawd

this is why he is happy with his non-sentient robots

he doesn't have to deal with weird AI politics like this]

Are you surprised she's displeased with you after that?

Oh no, of course not! But she was horribly rude to me even before that.

[...Not that that was the reason why he put her in a potato. It was really because power tho, but there's no reason to mention that~]

...you shoved her in a potato battery because she was rude.

[~~SOMEONE CALL KIMBLEE, WE HAVE FOUND A CHALLENGER TO HIS "HORRIBLE REASONS FOR SERIOUS LIFE DECISIONS" TITLE~~]

I never said that!

[...you totally took that wrong!!!]

Besides, she was calling me a moron. But no, that's not why I put her in a potato! ...Admittedly, it was part of the reason, but not the entire reason! Really, I know better than that.

[And again, he's just not going to answer that question if you don't mind!!]

...all...right, then, why did you put her in a potato battery?

[OH MY GOD THESE WEIRD AI POLITICS

WHAT DOES HE DO WITH THESE WEIRD AI POLITICS

[......................]

Well, ah. It's... well. I wasn't exactly aware of how it felt to be in power. Or have power, really. So... I... well, I suppose you could say I lost a bit - just a tiny bit, really! - of control there.

[..................................]

...Just a bit.

[...orz]

[...huh.]

So you wanted to...I don't know, humiliate her, I suppose? Flaunt the power you had?

[...do you understand this feel, Descole?]

Well, yes. That's... exactly what I wanted to do, yes.

[...ahahahaha does he ever]

Well, she sounds like a horrible person - so to speak - in the first place, and terrible to work with. I can't say that I blame you any.

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