006. Anonymous Text

[scientificflair]

[It's quite frankly surprising how many questions and things regarding relationships tend to come out once there's no accountability attached; Descole's been watching this go down for the last two days, and kind of hating himself for the fact that he isn't immune to it.

He hates text, normally; he doesn't like the lack of tone involved, and he doesn't like being unable to read faces or gestures, either. However, in the spirit of anonymity...]

Since no one can tell who we are over this thing for the time being anyway, I suppose I'll bite. Forgive me for using this as a space for venting my own personal issues, but we all seem to like discussing feelings here, anyway.

[NOT. THAT. HE'S BITTER OR FEELING DUMB ABOUT THIS OR ANYTHING.]

How does one tell the difference between someone being interested, in the romantic sense, and someone being interested in you platonically?

And just to head a few sarcastic individuals off - yes, I know that I sound like I've lived under a rock since puberty hit. There's a reason this is being done now.

Comments

[usedsuitup]

Generally there's some kind of signal.

[I apologize for him now.]

[scientificflair]

How very vague of you.

Can you give examples?

[Don't ever apologize, oh dear lord.]

[usedsuitup]

Well, it's usually all in the body language. When to kiss them, when to hold their hand, when to stay ten feet away, it all depends on the body language. I've spent a long time watching.



[I will just be making stuff up over here]

[scientificflair]

...you're a bit ahead of me, I think. With the exception of "when to stay ten feet away"; I understand that one. I haven't gotten it in quite a while.

[usedsuitup]

Well that sucks. So, the goal for you is to make yourself more desirable. You gotta be confident, and suave. And get a suit. Suits are cool.

[scientificflair]

I actually have the suit part covered, and I'm told if anything I'm overconfident, so I doubt that's the issue?

[how does he shot dating oh my god]

[usedsuitup]

How do you usually start then? Like, do you use a pick up line or what? What's your play?

[scientificflair]

...do people actually use pick-up lines?

That seems like something guaranteed to backfire, but I suppose I wouldn't exactly know.

[usedsuitup]

They work. 83% of the time.

But usually, it also depends on what play you use.

[scientificflair]

[...he's tempted to comment on the statistic, but everyone knows that 97% of statistics are totally made up anyway, don't they? Especially when solicited from anonymous sources...]

"Play?"

[usedsuitup]

[83 is Barney's go to number. For reasons unknown]

You know, your play, your plan to get the girl. Like the "he's not coming" or the "Ted Mosby".

[scientificflair]

...does everyone's general "plan to get the girl" revolve around manipulation? Because judging by those words alone, it doesn't sound promising.

[usedsuitup]

Well how else are you going to do it? I mean, there's a science to talking to girls, and if you want it to go right for you, you have to use some manipulation.