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006. Anonymous Text

[It's quite frankly surprising how many questions and things regarding relationships tend to come out once there's no accountability attached; Descole's been watching this go down for the last two days, and kind of hating himself for the fact that he isn't immune to it.

He hates text, normally; he doesn't like the lack of tone involved, and he doesn't like being unable to read faces or gestures, either. However, in the spirit of anonymity...]

Since no one can tell who we are over this thing for the time being anyway, I suppose I'll bite. Forgive me for using this as a space for venting my own personal issues, but we all seem to like discussing feelings here, anyway.

[NOT. THAT. HE'S BITTER OR FEELING DUMB ABOUT THIS OR ANYTHING.]

How does one tell the difference between someone being interested, in the romantic sense, and someone being interested in you platonically?

And just to head a few sarcastic individuals off - yes, I know that I sound like I've lived under a rock since puberty hit. There's a reason this is being done now.

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[The amount of >8D here, Descole....]

You seriously don't know? This is like, first grade stuff! Please tell me you're a kid. Though from the sound of it, you're not.

But okay, I'll help! First of all, what are your feelings toward this person? Do you want them to be more than a friend? Because if you're expecting them to make the first move, then you've got another thing coming! You've got to act on your feelings!!

[...he's a tryhard.]

[...the edgiest little tryhard, holy shit.]

There are many things I could say to that first part, but I'll just leave it at "I don't think I want to know what your childhood was like."

As for the rest, I'm aware of how I feel on the subject. That isn't what I'm asking about, though, is it?

My childhood was awesome, actually! Sounds like you're the one who didn't get to experience all the joys of life~

No, it's not. But you're making it kind of hard for people to give advice. If you wanted to remain friends, for example, you'd try to distance yourself a bit, to see how they react. If they got really clingy then hey, guess what? They like you! But if you do like them, it's something entirely different. So c'mon, you can tell me! What's the worst that'll happen?

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Ah, it is all about the subtle things, my friend!

[[IT'S OKAY, MYSTERIOUS STRANGER! ALEX LOUIS ARMSTRONG IS HERE TO HELP YOU! BRACE YOURSELF!!]]

Tell me, how does this person act in your presence? Are there any little oddities you've noticed?

Don't be shy; I will do my best to ensure your heart is set upon the right path!!

[...WHAT HAS JUST HAPPENED HERE]

Well. Thank you, I suppose.

I've noticed a few oddities, yes. Namely being far more trusting and open with me than she was, but that could be on account of simply getting to know one another better.

...she also seemed strangely insistent on paying for one of our recent outings. I have no idea what that was about.

What's this? The lady was insistent upon paying for a recent outing?!

Ohohohohoho~!

[[Yes, Descole. He just typed that out.]]

Combining this strange phenomenon with her desire to be more open with you.....I think your question answers itself, my friend!

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[There is no such thing as a vacation from Responsibility.]

There's really no certain way to tell unless they're deliberately trying to communicate such - and even then, if they're being too subtle, it can still be difficult to discern.

Signs of romantic interest that I'm familiar with involve gift-giving and attempts to spend time with the object of interest - and others, perhaps, but the common thread is a desire to have more contact and build emotional attachment with a person.

Ultimately, it's all very situational and depends on the personality and motive of the interested party. Are there any specific incidents you're concerned about?

Edited 2012-09-15 01:46 (UTC)

Finally, someone who explains things in a sane manner.

I can't really speak for her motives, because if I could do that this would be far simpler. She's also someone that I had reason to dislike until reasonably recently. As such, her personality is still confusing at rather inopportune times. I don't know her as well as our interactions would lead me to believe.

She comes to me for advice, and she's been insistent on meetings in person recently; she also insisted on paying for one of our recent outings. Nothing important, just tea and discussion of current matters that concern both of us. I've no idea if she's the sort to be subtle or not. Most signs point to "absolutely not," but she also tends to surprise me - also at rather inopportune times.

That might be a little much...

[come on people can't be that b...okay maybe they are, if they're all as bad as that crass man talking about sex

what is johto even]

The decision to pay could be an indirect form of gift-giving. It could also be a way of repaying a perceived debt, if she is the kind to feel that the "coming to you for advice" that you mentioned is an imposition. Or, it could be her nature or her mood at the time.

But you mentioned having had reason to dislike her. Is the reciprocate true? That would affect the entire dynamic.

[It's at about this point that he slaps a filter on the thing, goes down a few lines, and writes as an addition:]

I apologize for being intrusive. If you would like me to leave this at a generality, I can do that:

There are no certainties in relationships, especially of the romantic kind and especially when nothing has been straightforwardly stated. There are many ways of showing interest, many forms of romantic attachments that may be sought...from the outside, it's complicated, and from within the matter it can seem all a huge mess.

[no mincing words here. ~~for once~~]

What it comes down to are two deceptively simple questions. First of all, if she has romantic interest in you, does she wish to pursue that interest? And second, if she does, do you wish to reciprocate it?

[this is why he likes you.]

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[what for basic decency?? and Responsibility but still]

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[...the rest of this post speaks for itself tbh]

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[y o u n g s t e r s. . .]

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Living under a rock doesn't sound very pleasant...

But to answer your question... Maybe you could ask them! Do you feel something special in your chest when you think about them?

It's a figure of speech, not literal. Either way, "pleasant" isn't how I would describe it, no.

And asking isn't an option; if it were, I would have done so already. As for special feelings...not exactly. It's complicated, and depends on how one would define "special", anyway.

[...IT'S...CERTAINLY SPECIAL...JUST NOT LIKELY IN THE WAY YOU MEAN...]

Special in a way that's... different. Like you've never felt it about someone else before, but you'd truly wish to talk to them more. Even if you can't tell them.

Or at least that's how I'd assume so! I'm not quite sure.

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Generally there's some kind of signal.

[I apologize for him now.]

How very vague of you.

Can you give examples?

[Don't ever apologize, oh dear lord.]

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Do they treat you differently than how they treat their friends?

Unfortunately, I don't know. I try to avoid interacting with her social circle; let's say we don't get along.

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[Wow, have you ever come to the right place!! Ryoji has tons of experience with girls!

Well, not with dating them, but they all seemed pretty interested in him back home...]

If they smile a lot when they're with you, it means they're interested in you romantically. At least, in my experience ^u^!

Surely there are other reasons for that? Not to shoot down whatever advice this is immediately, but she's the sort that smiles at just about everyone that she isn't thirty seconds away from kicking in the face, or other...sensitive areas.

^u^?

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I never experienced the feeling myself to know! But I guess it would feel like you would really want to spend more time with that person than your friends and you would be willing to put everything aside for them.

Edited 2012-09-16 06:08 (UTC)

I don't know that I've experienced that toward anyone. My life's work generally comes before everything else.

...I suppose that would be why this is a question in the first place.

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depens on wat theyre tellin you i guess i dont take any cances un til they tell me

[...ouch, um. This is some rather rough spelling, goodness.

GOOD...TO KNOW THAT HE DOES PUZZLES SO OFTEN...]

That's normally how I would be doing this. I'm not sure if she's the sort to say anything directly, however.

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[[You know what this sounds like? It sounds like a puzzle! So Emmy will do her best to help you, random stranger!]]

Ah, that sort of thing is rather confusing, isn't it? I've found that the best way to tell is to try and see how they act around you; do they desire your company more than usual? Being overly friendly?

I tend to solve puzzles quite a bit, but affairs of the heart are on another level! There's just no hint coin for that sort of thing! So my advice would just be to see how things go; if your gentleman or lady is truly interested, I think you'll find out soon enough!

[...wow the urge to respond with LAYTON THIS HAD BETTER NOT BE YOU is strong with this one

the only thing keeping him from doing so is the fact that Layton honestly seems like the sort to have never asked a woman on a date in his life, any woman he dated had to have worn the metaphorical pants

however the references to hint coins and the like are a bit difficult to ignore -

...oh you have to be shitting him]

That's very optimistic of you and all, but I have reasons to think she might not say anything.

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